About This Blog and About Me

I am a sinner. I am a sinner who has been forgiven by Christ and who seeks to serve him.


This blog contains my daily thoughts and reflections on my journey to carry my cross and follow him.


I am a lay, married Catholic woman who works a day job, who continues to sin, and who continually must seek grace, mercy, and the strength to pick the cross back up when I fall and then continue on the journey.


I am not a theologian. These words are only my (hopefully) humble attempt to learn from my day and to share what I feel may be valuable to readers. If anything I write contradicts the teachings of the Church, it is not by design but by lack of knowledge or understanding on my part.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Getting Caught Up

How easy it is to get caught up in situations and want nothing more then to vent, howl, moan, groan, wail, and curse at how horrible ________ situation is.  It's human nature, and I think we all do it.  I found myself in a situation like this today.  I thought I had everything all planned out, all worked out, and all mapped out regarding an ongoing "problem" I've been facing.  Everything was all neat and tidy.  It had been a struggle, but it was figured out.

In today's situation, it was regarding money.

Today I found out everything wasn't nearly as neat as what I thought, and the budget is blown over something completely out of my control.

Yes, I vented.

Yes, I moaned and groaned.

Yes, I am wailing inside.

"Why can't this all work out the way I thought it would work out?" I said inside my head.

This has been my mantra for the past year.  Why can't everything work out the way I thought it would work out?  Why does this have to be so hard?  URG.

Enter dramatic pause as I remember that I'm supposed to be reflecting on the big picture and not just this one facet of my existence in time.

"Oh yeah," I said to myself, "That's right.  I'm not the one who is supposed to have to work everything out.  I'm supposed to be trusting that everything will work out according to God plan."

And that's just it.  A big part of the journey is remembering to remember.  God created the heavens and the earth simply by willing them all into existence.  He'll help me with this problem.  It might not even be a problem in God's eyes.  It's probably just a way for me to learn to see reality through eyes of faith with God's help.

Now, I just need to chill out enough and calm down enough to sleep all night rather than obsess.

Did God maybe create chill pills on the 8th day?  I think my mom would tell me to take a proverbial chill pill and cool it.  I'll pray for one of those too.